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With thousands of skiers and snowboarders fighting daily for the power positioning on their local slopes close calls, collisions and misunderstandings are inevitable. Emotions can cloud ones judgement especially among the presence of the opposite sex (or same sex if you’re a gay). So, before a situation can escalate out of control take a deep breath and try your best to remember these quick steps to Settling A Dispute:

This past weekend Duluth was lucky enough (barf) to host the annual Chevy Revolution Tour, otherwise known as "don't bother going to Spirit because it's overrun with a bunch of competitive dipshits from out of town." It's events like this that make it painfully obvious that retardation has no borders.

OK, so snowboarders are notorious for being poor. Actually, a lot of snowboarders are rich pussies. But, the one’s I know are poor. This may stem from having loser parents which, in turn, caused poor little Timmy to face a constant struggle throughout life. Or, it may be because they are just too lazy to go out and find a real job. My case was somewhere in between. Anyway you look at it, I’ve been broke as fuck at times in my life.

There's not much for news (that anyone tells us anyway) and no snow for at least a few more weeks. For now you'll just have to settle for "Things I Heard Outside My Bedroom Window This Summer".

I consider myself a semi-decent citizen. I hold the door open for old folks, I feel bad for fat people and I pay my child support. Probably my only quirk with law enforcement (or rather Minnesota law makers) is auto insurance. At least you know your taxes are going to street maintenance or rehabilitating drunken retards, whereas your insurance money is just going to some rich asshole. Chris Rock best defined insurance as “in case of shit.”