Reviews

Breasts.You know... knockers, hooters, high beams, melons, cans, TITS! Boobs are a partof everyone's life. Either you love 'em, or you got 'em - there are so manygood things boobies do for the masses. They're always making people happy!October is one awesome month capped off with a sweet holiday where tons oflovely ladies dress up and show off their ta-tas. It's a whole 30 days dedicatedto breastesses. The people at Sessions know what's up. They have put out a sickjacket made for titty lovers of all shapes and sizes. Their message? Savebreasts! This jacket is fucking rad. It's nice and loose, super warm, and evenhas one of those little skirt things that helps keep snow out of your trousers.Probably the coolest part is the beautiful lady featured on the back. Her longloving arms wrap around to the front so she can cup your c-cups. There isn't amore obvious way to show your support while looking stylish and keeping yournips warm - you know what I'm talking about ladies. If you want a little more infoon the Board 4 Breast Cancer jacket you can visit their website. Come on BRA,do your job and SUPPORT. – Diablo Snow Fox

I love Bluebird wax. That's the way it's been since day one - golden.
I also love MFM. So much in fact that I looked up his home address so I could mail him a few locks of hair and a vile o' blood, which is TOTALLY beside the point. Anyway, when I heard Bluebird made wax that boasted even more control and longer-last in all temps, I probably could have pooped. But everyone knows girls don't poop. Then the news came that it was endorsed by Marc Frank and I was sold. You should probably check this stuff out. Just look for the package with a sexy lady on it, all bent-over style, in a thong. If that doesn't scream Montoya, I don't know what would. Ahem.

IT SMELLS LIKE CHOCOLATE. Enjoy.

*Rachel pinup photo courtesy of Abby Goodell

I was snooping around the basement of an old second hand store in west Duluth when I came across this book. To tell you the truth it creeped the shit out me, in part because of how the word SATANISM screamed out from among the shelf filled with old children’s books and Ranger Rick’s. Actually, it’s the same feeling I get whenever I see a priest, nuns or a huge crucifixes bearing the bloodied and beaten Christ.

In this day and age everybody and their old lady has owned a clothing line at some point in their life. Usually the “management” consists of a duo of delusional emo kids going to school for graphic design, certain they’re just one catchy tagline away from ultimate wealth.

All I gotta say is, what took so long?

Okay first of all, I don’t date snowboarders, but when this guy showed up on my doorstep with a bouquet of wilted flowers and a pair of Defcon mitts, I had to own up to the wetness in my panties. I was hesitant but I did indeed let him escort me around this freezing ass city under the condition that I could wear his mittens. (Come on, they totally matched my outfit.)

If there's one thing in my life I regret it's that I didn't do more drugs as an adolescent. From what I've witnessed I figure if you start when your around 15 you can pile out until about 20 and still get a decent lifespan out of the deal.

I was able to get my hands on this little doozy at a recent tradeshow in Madison, WI. If you’ve never attended an event of this sort just picture a collection of Midwest shop owners and their staff lackeys moping around, complaining of last year’s failures and disappointments. It doubles as a bitch fest of sorts. Anyhow, as I wandered about the grounds in a hungover, aimless stupor I ended up outside the GNU/Lib Tech booth when I seen a pile of these babies sitting there unguarded. So I stole one.

Growing up nothing sucks more than when one of your parents run astray and end up bringing a random sketchball into the living situation. Stepmoms are pretty easy to deal because if they overstep their boundaries you call them a bitch and they start crying, end of story. But Stepdads are a completely different story; those guys are fucking dicks and enjoy every minute of it. My friend Heath had one who from all accounts was a lazy slob who sat around the house all day issuing tasks and chores while he sat in front of the TV picking his toes. Dude even had me out doing lawn work one day.